Short jokes

An American:
– We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
An Italian:
– We have Silvio Berlusconi, no wonder, no hope and no cash.

– All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.

– Why didn’t the sailors play cards?
– Because the captain was sitting on the deck.

– Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
– Because the grass tickles their balls!

– What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms?
– 365 used condoms are VERY good year.

– What Bill Gates’ wife says him when they make love?
– Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.

A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops:
– Stop! Treason! The ass!!!

– Who has invented the love?
– The poor, so they can fuck for free.

Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
– What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
– Hundred dollars, as usual.

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.

Good: Your wife doesn’t talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.

Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.

Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.

Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.

Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You have found porn videos in his room.
Very bad: You and your wife are the main actors.


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