On line casino jokes

After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something.
– So, what’s up man?
– It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad.
– What is going on?
– Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars.
– How did it go?
The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something.
– Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23.
– And it went out again?
– No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after.
– I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls.
The other friend, continuing to chew louder:
– What do you think I’m doing?


A man from the suburb of London for many years went to an occasional trip to Monte Carlo because of the casino. One night the goddess of fortune has finally removed the blindfold and he won over 500 000 euros. Happy and excited he decided to stay in the hotel and return home the day after; he wanted to enjoy the evening affording some of the other vices. Back home the next day he had to solve the problem of safekeeping of his money. He did not bring the money in the bank where he had his account because he was afraid that bank clerk will start to investigate; the place where he lived was small and the people not so fair, so he was afraid that the news of his win will quickly spread all over the city and he, for obvious reasons, didn’t want the people know about his win. So he decided to dig a hole in his garden and hide the money in a resistant and waterproof box.

The next day, returning home from work he quickly notice the footprints from the gate to his backyard. Following the footprints he noticed that someone entered in his property and stole his treasure. Upset and angry he continues to follow the footprints leading to the house of his neighbor. He remembered his neighbor was a deaf mute who had communication problems. Fortunately he remembered also that close to him lived a woman able to communicate with the language of the deaf-mute.

He took a gun, his other favorite hobby was shooting, went to the woman’s house and dragged her to the door of the deaf-mute. He rings the bell and when the guy opens the door he says to the woman:

– Explain this villain I will kill him if he don’t say immediately where he hid my money.

The woman turns the question to the deaf-mute that explains with signs that he have hidden the box with the money in the cellar. The woman turns to the man with the gun and says:

– This guy told me he prefers rather to be killed then to tell you where he hid the money.


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