Jokes about Sex

In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him:
– John, why aren’t you writing?
– I’m exhausted because of sex.
– That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.


A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband:
– Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard… it almost hurts!


While making love, he says:
– Darling, let’s do 68!
– 68??? What’s that?
– You do it to me and I’ll owe you one.


Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.
– Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
– Gorgonzola!
– Wait, it is not on yet.


Two friends:
– Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
– Of course! How many people are coming?
– Three, if you bring your girlfriend.


A little boy asked his mother:
– Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
– Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party…, you are lucky that you don’t bark.


One woman stops a taxi.
– To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says:
– You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
– Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
– Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither.


One man calls emergency:
– Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
– It is OK, I found another one.


 

Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:
– Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls.
– You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it.
After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:
– Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?
– Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.

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