50 Fun Thing To Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers 3. Grimace painfully…
Johnny Cannot Tell a Lie
One time, back in the day, a boy named Johnny was walking to school with his girlfriend. He was trying to impress her, so he said, "I bet you I…
A Definite Definition
A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute,…
Bad Car Day
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. "What are you…
A Few Philisophical Statements…
Always take the time to smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek... nothing gets the…
Hold Me
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says: ''I don't feel like it, I just want you…
Hot Revenge
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and left…
Jokes about Animals
A man walks a snail on leash and meets one his friend. Friend tells him: - What a beautiful snail you have. - I had one more beautiful but it…
Adult jokes
- Why farmers have it bigger than the guys from city? - ??? - Because they haven't had toys! Two girls: - Which is the best contraceptive? - An aspirin.…
Jokes about Policemen
Two policemen are going to work: - Shall we take a bus or walk? - Well, lets see what arrives first. A policeman comes to the office with one black…
On line casino jokes
After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in…
Jokes about Scots
A Scot enters in a bus and asks the driver: - Excuse me, is it necessary to pay the ticket for a flower? - Sure not. - Come on Rose.…
Jokes about Sex
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him: - John, why aren’t you writing? - I’m exhausted…
Short jokes
An American: - We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. An Italian: - We have Silvio Berlusconi, no wonder, no hope and no cash. - All…